This is my poem dedicated to my son Alexander, born at 27 + 1 weeks
Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful son What? I’m not ready. It wasn’t supposed to be like this I’m not due until September, it’s only June, you must be wrong Isn’t he lovely, who does he look like? How can I tell? Surrounded by plastic walls, wrapped up in wires Please take me away from here. I can’t deal with this today
Hello mummy, your boy’s doing so well He started his milk today, you must be so proud Are you talking to me? I don’t feel like a mum Please don’t call me that, not yet. Why did this happen? What did I do wrong? So many questions, I’m lost in this world.
Home at last, but home alone. Last time I was here I was pregnant I walk into your nursery and put my hand on my belly Both empty. I scream in pain – Give me back my baby! The first night is the worst, and they don’t get much better Desperately listening for the phone to ring Living for the moment when I can return to your side
Would you like to hold him? Are you kidding? Of course I would. But wait, surely he’s too small I might hurt him, I can’t do this. Here you go, your baby in your arms at last I cannot speak, so tiny, so fragile but yet so perfect.
Nurse, my baby’s not breathing! It’s ok, he just forgot. It’s quite normal for his age Hold his hands, touch his feet, he will soon remember. What? Are you people crazy?
How can this be normal? I need some time out, my head is spinning.
For hours, I sit and stare at you Enclosed in your plastic box I’ve learned the beeps, I know when to worry I feel like we’ve been here forever. Will we ever get out? Will I be able to cope? I cannot wait for the day to come, when you leave here with me.
3 months on and your finally home Now you’re bigger and stronger we can finally be a family Free from wires, your new life begins So many achievements for such a little one Breathing by yourself, drinking from bottles The simple things, others take for granted are so special to me.
I still have so many questions though, Everyday I continue to ask why me? But when you look at me and smile, You have given me the answer no-one else can I’m the luckiest person to be granted a preemie And I’m honoured to be your mum.
It may have been i was but too young myself a young lady barely able to raise herself soon to hold the task of raising a child yet it was with joy i put this task before me i read book,watched people as they cared for their kids ohh how i wanted to be the perfect mom each night i dreamed of seeing you run and play of you running over into my arms i would hold you with a heart of love kiss away all the pain when you fell forgive you when you make a mistake show you the errors of my ways so you can grow to a better person then me days soon turned to weeks weeks then to months i felt you inside me grow i felt the kicks,i felt you move 25 weeks passed till on one dark night i drove you to the hospital alone tears to my eyes thinking please not yet its too soon but from me you were born a small little girl barely 2 pounds struggling to breathe and hold on i cried when i heldyo in my arms cried when the doctor had you in surgery seven days past i sat by your side and saw life from you leave for me holding you forever was not meant to be i prayed you would stay with me but they went unanswered now i pray your are safe in heaven maybe my parents are their holding you till i can be their too i pray your safe,i pray your happy and each night i ask a selfish thing will my heart ever beat again?
For so long I hoped, prayed and dreamt of the day you would come to share our lives. Then on the day you were born my heart filled with such joy and love I thought it would burst.
In the days following your birth my soul filled with so much fear and worry it seemed it would shatter. Then, after what seemed a lifetime, the day came you were laid on my chest and I felt your tiny heart beat next to mine.
I felt a peace I had never known, I knew we would survive. I have already learned so much about life from you. You taught me every moment is precious, every soul should be cherished, prayers are answered and miracles happen.
I want to thank you for choosing your father and me to share this life with. I look forward to everyday we have to spend together.
Love Forever,
Mamma
Renea Ericson mom to Andrew (28wkr) Used by permission.
The Dirt Road Cruising along an endless stretch of highway, pavement hard and smooth. People staring straight ahead, not taking their eyes off the road. The lines whisk past as dots that hypnotise, so boring and routine. Without challenge, without change and such a waste of time. Then suddenly, without warning, a detour sign ahead. I turn the wheel, screech and skid, down a dirt road I know not where. Stones fly from under my tires as I struggle to gain control.
I must slow down and keep my head, try to stay on course. Lost, frightened and all alone on some lonesome backwoods road. The bumps, ruts, twists and turns, will I ever make it through? I take a deep breath, cautiously, progress, for what's ahead I do not know. Yet as I go, I start to note the beauty along this road. Then here and there I begin to see some others travelling here too. They smile and nod with a knowing look, I no longer feel so alone.
There is a kinship here, an understanding too, that sets us apart from the rest. Our road has the same destination, just a slightly different route. We've learned some lessons, gained some skills that could only be learned here. This road has taught us how rough life can be, but has made us much stronger indeed.
This was written for another mother who eventually lost her preemie baby. It again expresses the heart. It may comfort you. Terry.
Why Was I Born So Early? I felt my mommy's heart beat such comfort in my soul Not a worry in my little life I never knew the cold I grew and stretched and used my limbs the gravity could not hold My tiny life was forming in the flesh of mommy's fold.
Darkness was my friend and my eyes could not yet see My hands and arms that waved around in this calm warm sea My tummy knew no hunger constant blood met every need I grew and grew much bigger as I felt secure and free.
What happened to me early I have no way to know. The comfort of my mummy's heart was gone I felt alone. Cruel white filled my vision and my eyes began to moan. Where was that soothing bliss of fluid and constant feel of tone?
Once I felt so strong and I moved with sense of strength. Now the walls of strong security no longer held my length. A strong force weighed me down and I had no more defense. My little life was changing as my muscles began to tense.
. I kept on being jabbed with discomfort pricks of pain. My cries went out so often but they were lost in vain My voice could not be heard as I tried my mummy's name. Her voice it seemed so distant and she was so far away.
My life is always struggle as I strain for health and peace. I do wish all these pains and ills would finally come to cease My world is one you know though I can not understand Why I am born so early was it chance or was it planned?
Posted by Yolondaon 2009/5/2 19:28:14 (1070 reads)
I tell them I'm F.I.N.E. Feelings Inside Not Expressed I've existed this way Since she took her last breath
But I challenge my world to look into my eyes Look past the mask and through the disguise In my eyes you will find I have died inside Not a part or a piece, but me as a whole Sometimes the pain is so bad, I ache in my soul
She was my legacy, my gift to the world All my hopes and dreams were in my little girl Now our future plans have been defaulted Its not dreams deferred, it's dreams halted
See my life was her life and hers was mine We have a love so strong, it cant be measured with time My life is now shattered and I'm searching to find Answers to my questions and/or reasons why Death is the way my life's now defined
I tell them I'm F.I.N.E. Feelings Inside Not Expressed I've existed this way Since she took her last breath
written by: Yolonda Toney Angel D'Lon Grace's Mommy Forever
Posted by auntiejenon 2005/3/28 21:27:59 (4697 reads)
My best friend has a child in the NICU. Both my girls were there for a week. I don't want to include any names here. God will know who you are praying for. I will pray for everyone posting to this site. Here is a poem I've written. Hope it helps someone out there.
God’s precious little miracle Lying there so small Fighting for your life Inside those lonely walls
Each minute is so precious Each second that you’re here Is another we’ve been blessed with. We want you to stay near.
We put your life in God’s hands His will, we so strongly pray Is for you to win this battle And stay with us today.
But should God choose to take you We know He will take care Of our precious little baby Whose days were too short here
God this day I pray to you To let me keep my little boy You have so many angels I have but one pride and joy.
Two little flowers, one Lily and one Rose. Different, yet from the same. You grew together in one bed. The same rain nourished you. The same sun shone down. Yet one withered, with twisted root That cut off life before it could begin. (Oh, how I miss you my sweet Rose.) And the other, plucked too soon, Still struggles to thrive in the vase That holds her safe until she is ready for the world. My beautiful Lily, you are so small, But you are strong. And the Great Gardener who took our Rose to His Home Is helping you prepare to come to mine. So I won't worry and I will trust in Him That we will be together in the sun for many years to come.
This poem was written for parents currently facing the fact that the baby that should be with them is now in the NICU. You feel that you have no control over the situation. Terry
So Angry Why do I feel so angry? My baby was just born But not the way I thought It was a big surprise
It all happened far too early There were many weeks to go Why is there so much doubt now? Will my baby be all right?
The wires and alarms They sometimes give a fright How does my baby feel now? I really need to know
I guess this makes me angry All the fear and doubt There's nothing I can do now But wait out this long night
A baby boy was born weighing a little over a pound. His skin was wrinkled his belly was round, They said it was a miracle if he would survive, Here it is six weeks later and you are still alive. You came before your body was ready, I tried to keep carrying you, but you would not let me.
You were anxious to see this place, I remember the first time I saw your tiny face. You were red all covered with tubes and IV lines, At that moment I started crying. Then I realized that you are my miracle boy, since the moment I found out I was Pregnant my heart has been full of joy.
So on this day I want to say God has blessed me in every way, by bringing me such a wonderful child. Every time I see you I cant help but smile, because I know miracles are real. Words cant express the feelings I feel, about my little boy who I will always love, I want to thank the man up above, who sent you to me. I love you Alphonso and that's how it will forever be.
This was written to express my heart when seeing my son so sick and weak with all those wires and monitors connected to him. It will relate to many. Terry
Poem For Samuel Oh little baby, how tiny small and frail you are! Oh little baby how hard your life has been thus far Will you ever be big and strong? Can anything else go wrong? Oh little baby one day you're coming home.
Oh little baby I see you in your fish bowl crib Oh little baby I can count each and every rib. Why did you have to be born so young? What will become of my sick weak son? Oh little baby home seems so far for you.
Oh little baby my heart it aches to see you so. Oh little baby I just want to rock you to and fro What are these leads and wires everywhere? Why do you suffer it isn't fair? Oh little baby I want you home with me.
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