This account was written not long after our little budskie's birth. We had no ideal what lay ahead. We hope it helps you understand the pain parents go through. We also hope that it relates to those currently experiencing the same pain of having a little one born so early.

"When we found out that our baby may come early we were both nervous and excited. The long wait in hospital would be over. Karla had been in hospital for high blood pressure for four weeks. The Doctors had put off the C section twice already. Karla was very stressed as you can imagine. Originally baby was going to be delivered at twenty six weeks.

Finally the wait was over. We had got as much time as we could get. Time is so vital. One more day in the womb means so much. One week is significant! The amount of growth that takes place at this time is amazing. Better in the womb than in the harsh world.

They prepped Karla at 1pm and delivered Samuel at about 140pm on 9 May 1996. He was tiny. He weighed 955 grams. There was hardly an once of meat on him. However he was not that much smaller than a baby at 28 weeks. He should have in the womb for further 12 weeks. The difference between a 28 week old and a 32 week old baby is enormous. The difference between a full term and Samuel was worlds apart.

He was as you may already know totally formed but very immature. To Terry?s surprise he heard Samuel cry. He breathed for about seven minutes on his own before he was intubated. (This is were a tube is inserted through the nose directly in to the branch of the lungs to assist in breathing.) The ventilator would help him breath and oxygen would supplement his inability to extract it from the air for long periods of time. Babies at this age can not survive long without help.

His long existence in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit would begin. (He has at least 5 weeks to go at the writing of this story.)

The Doctors first impressions were good. He was a good pink red colour. Dr Tracey started his explanation of what can happen and the fact that not everything always goes right. Little did we know! We humans are normally optimistic by nature. Hope always seems to come in the front of our thoughts.

His first week of life was uneventful. He was already off oxygen and they were considering taking him off the ventilator. We thought this must be it; just twelve weeks of plain sailing.

On a Friday afternoon Terry called the hospital to see how Samuel was, expecting to hear the normal, ?He?s going well!? The Doctor suggested he come in immediately as Samuel was in a critical condition. This implied that he may not make it. Apparently he had gone blue and stopped breathing. When they took out the tube down to his lungs it was blocked with blood. They had tried to re-intubate him (replace the tube) however he was not getting better.

As Terry worked over an hour from the hospital he had to catch a train (not very reliable). It seemed like the slowest trip travelling on the train that afternoon. A call from the train using the mobile phone confirmed that he had become slightly more stable.

Eventually Terry arrived at the hospital to find Samuel in critical condition. He was on very high pressures to force air in to the lungs and 100% oxygen. This meant his lungs were very seriously injured. X-Rays showed that much of his lungs were collapsed. They were also being filled with blood due to a heavy haemorrhage. He looked terrible and our hearts went out to him. ', 'Nothing can prepare you for something like this. There is a total misconception in our community that if a baby was born early he/she will be fine because of how far medical science had advanced. True, the science has advanced however they can not even come close to taking the place of a human womb. Babies born early are very vulnerable to disaster. It is almost certain that at least something will go wrong with a premature baby, especially if they are born before 30 weeks. We were under the general innocent misconception.

That night we stayed at the hospital in a room just behind the Bay (Intensive Care) where Samuel was in case he was not going to make it. Medical staff will never say that however it is easy to read between the lines. The Doctors and nurses were excellent during this time. As they freely admit, they do not know everything and can never be 100% sure what will happen until it happens. This situation was no exception.

After a sleepless night he made it through and slowly recovered. We found out weeks later that not many nursing staff thought he would. This just underlines the seriousness of his circumstances. So ended our first major trauma.

The next week was amazing for Samuel. He progressed from near death to coming off the ventilator and spending time without any assistance. He went along firing on all cylinders. Could this be the end of his difficult times? We thought so. He was doing so well!

On Sunday night the phone rang and a familiar nurse tells us Samuel has been re-intubated because his bowels and stomach have filled up with so much air that it cut off his breathing. This was caused again by a blocked tube. This time mucus was the culprit and thankfully not blood. We immediately rushed to the hospital as they do not call for minor reasons.

He looked very sick again. His oxygen levels were increased and we began the agonising process of watching and waiting.

He greatly improved during the next week or so however he was again stricken with an infection. This time it appeared it was in the lungs. They were full of mucus or a water which greatly reduces the lung?s effectiveness. Apparently this chronic problem is common to these babies as the ventilator scars the lungs.

A few days later he also got a high temperature. This just about brings us to the present. We have not given every single aspect of his seven week life however it does give you a fair indication of what can happen and does happen to parents and babies.

His life at this time is unpleasant for him and for us. It very painful for a parent to watch helplessly as their child suffers. There is nothing at all a parent can do except believe for the best. As Christian parents we prayed for him before and after his birth and ever since. We did not expect any of this thing to happen but the reality is they did. Only the certain knowledge of God has sustained us through this.

This leads us to the most significant challenge ahead of us and Samuel. After four weeks each baby has an ultra sound on the brain to see any changes. Damage typically takes four to six weeks to show. Nothing could prepare us for the news we heard.

They located holes in the centre of his brain where the two halves meet. (Simply put) This is caused by brain tissue being deprived of blood and therefore oxygen. The cells then perish causing liquid ?pockets? as they naturally break down. The area of the brain is mainly responsible for movement. This condition is known as PVL (periventricular leukomalacia) You can follow this link for an accurate description now.

After one week they did another test and found it had worsened. In fact, it was only showing history. The damage had probably occurred in the womb. So what does science basically say?

We have been told that he is in the highest risk category for serious disabilities. If he only ends up with minor disabilities (ie Forest Gump?s calliper etc) we would be very, very fortunate. The Doctor said that if he turns out normal it would be a pure and simple miracle. We have also told that besides movement, the condition affects the child?s mental ability, speech, etc.

So this is what we believe for; a miracle. There are many testimonies of children born with serious damage to the brain like Samuel living perfectly normal lives. A member of the family who is a scientist read about a child with 80% of his brain damaged living a normal child?s life. Another article we read described a young boy who did nor move until he was three years old and now is like any other four year old.

We have personally experienced miracles and Terry has seen people who have also experienced miracles. This is where we are now. Samuel is beautiful boy and has a rich life to live.